Red Lentil and Quinoa Slow-Cooker Chili

Heya! It's a been long time, sorry about that. I've been homeschooling my eight-year-old and it takes up a LOT of time. But I'm going to [try real hard to] get better about scheduling blogging time for myself so I can get back into the game. I also haven't been blogging much because I haven't really had the time to get into the kitchen and create new recipes. I've mostly just been cooking out of cookbooks and/or buying ready-made food, which is never as good as fresh, but sometimes your allergies are really awful and you're too tired to pan-fry some friggin' tofu or whatever. But the other day I had a little burst of energy and some ingredients on hand to make this chili from lentils and quinoa and, man it turned out great! So, I definitely wanted to share it with you. Give it a try - it's so easy, it makes a ton, and it's super healthy. Read on for details!

1 yellow onion, diced (save half to use as garnish, if you like)

4 cloves garlic, minced
1 red bell pepper, diced with seeds removed
1/2 cup quinoa, rinsed and drained but uncooked
1 cup split red lentils, uncooked
1 15-ounce can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 28-ounce can crushed plum tomatoes
1 package of vegetarian "meat" crumbles (optional, but adds nice texture)
2-4 cups vegetable stock, depending on the consistency you prefer
3 tablespoons tomato paste
.5 to 1 tsp salt, to taste
.5 teaspoon cumin
.5 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 bay leaf (optional but calms the farts, or so they say)
handful cilantro, chopped (optional, for garnish)
hot sauce (optional, for garnish)

• It really could not be simpler. Just toss all of the prepped ingredients into your slow cooker, cook on high for about 4 to 6 hours (or more, if needed). Give it a stir maybe once an hour or so, if you're home to do that. If not, don't sweat it.
• Ladle into serving bowls and top with onion, cilantro and hot sauce. I think some fresh avocado would be nice on this too, but I didn't have any. Boo.
• Enjoy!

Before I go, I want to share some photos with you of my most recent trip to our town's most popular (okay, only) vegan restaurant, Spiral Diner. It's been a while since I've visited, because it's kind of 'spensive, but it was every bit as good as it was when I started going there the first year they opened, which feels like about a million years ago. Check out this grub, y'all.

Nachos Supremo

Hot Potato Grilled Cheese Sandwich
It was basically a smushed baked potato with all the trimmings grilled into a sandwich, and it was amazing!!

S'ketti and Meatballs with Garlic Toast

I bought one of these super cute mugs too!
Is it just my imagination or is that tiny triangle a derivative of the TriForce?
(Only fellow nerds will know what I'm talking about.)

Scanners Scramble

Hey, who remembers Scanners? It was a David Cronenberg film, so if you are at all familiar with Cronenberg's body of work you can immediately imagine how bizarre and disgusting it is without me even having to describe it. It concerned a rare and small group of "special" people, called Scanners, who could do all kinds of crazy telepathic and telekinetic things, like read thoughts, start fires with their minds, control the bodily processes of other people, and - most notably - make people's heads explode.    

Scanners (1981)

I will spare you from photos of the infamous head explosion scene, because I don't want you to lose your appetite, Instead, I will cleverly use my tofu scramble to demonstrate the basic logistics of the scene.

Here we have two fully functioning brain lobes, just pulsing away happily.

Then this guy catches wind of something in those lobes he doesn't like.

And now the brains look like this... Ya get me?

'sploded or not, that scramble looks delicious. And it is! The recipe is not my own. Alas, it belongs to one Isa Chandra Moskowitz of Veganomicon fame. It is my favorite tofu scramble recipe and the only one I ever make anymore, simply because it is the best! Trust me and give it a try. Here's the original recipe post on the Post Punk Kitchen website. You can also find it in Isa's fantastic cookbook, Vegan Brunch. I'll put links to the cookbooks at the bottom of this post. Now, on to the scramble!

2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed with your fingers
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
1 teaspoon salt*
3 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons olive oil
3 cloves garlic, minced (or more, to taste)
1 pound extra-firm tofu, drained
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
Fresh black pepper to taste

(*This is way too much salt for me. I only use a half teaspoon when I make this and it always tastes great. I recommend starting with less and adding more later if you want to.)

• First stir the spice blend together in a small cup. Add water and mix. Set aside.
• Preheat a large, heavy-bottomed pan over medium-high heat. Saute the garlic in olive oil for about a minute. Break the tofu apart into bite sized pieces and saute for about 10 minutes, using a spatula to stir often. Get under the tofu when you are stirring, scrape the bottom and don’t let it stick to the pan, that is where the good, crispy stuff is. Use a thin metal spatula to get the job done, a wooden or plastic one won’t really cut it. The tofu should get browned on at least one side, but you don’t need to be too precise about it. The water should cook out of it and not collect too much at the bottom of the ban. If that is happening, turn the heat up and let the water evaporate.
• Add the spice blend and mix to incorporate. Add the nutritional yeast and fresh black pepper. 
• Cook for about five more minutes. Serve warm.

As you can see in the photos, I topped mine with fresh pico de gallo. I had some leftover from yesterday's C.H.U.D. C.H.I.L.I. so I used it to top my scramble, which was ever-so-gently lain on a stovetop-warmed tortilla from Trader Joe's. Dang, it was good! Best.Breakfast.Ever.

Happy MoFo'ing, everyone!

 

C.H.U.D. C.H.I.L.I.

Why, yes, that is an edible C.H.U.D., complete with carrot claws and olive eyes. Is it too terrifying to eat, or too cute? I'll let you decide.

Happy MoFo, everyone! Let's get this month-long party started! 
The theme I'm working with is 80's horror films. And what better film to start with than C.H.U.D.?

I grew up in Waco, TX, and the only place to rent movies was at a place called Flicks, which was in a tiny converted house wedged between the Piggly Wiggly and a full-service gas station. I was a frequent Flicks customer. My PawPaw drove me there every Friday and Saturday and I would easily watch between 4 to 6 horror films every weekend. There really wasn't much to do in Waco, TX, in the 80s before you were old enough to drive. My grandparents weren't too savvy about the movie titles, and they never ventured into Flicks themselves, so they didn't have a clue what I was watching. Seriously, I saw The Exorcist (alone!) at ten years old. And The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And The Amityville Horror. And on and on and on... Am I scarred for life? Maybe, but the point is this: My middle-aged brain is now full of mildly useless trivia and quotes from all the horror movies I watched as a kid. And now I'm going to parlay that knowledge into fun recipes for the purpose of Vegan MoFo 2014. Woo Haw!

C.H.U.D. (1984)

C.H.U.D. - if you didn't already know - stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. The movie is terrible, but a lot of fun to watch. This one is particularly special to me because it is the only horror film I ever watched with my grandparents in the room. I was horrified the entire time it played, but MeeMaw and PawPaw chuckled in the background and chatted with each other, probably just bored and wishing they were playing dominoes or something.

I really want to get my hands on the C.H.U.D. DVD because, apparently, there is a fantastic commentary track that is "better that MST3K" (according to a reviewer on the movie's IMDB page). Being a huge fan of MST3K, I need to find out if this is true. I suspect it might be, as Daniel Stern is one of the commentators and that guy is hilarious.

So, anyway, on to my first MoFo creation, C.H.U.D. C.H.I.L.I!

I topped my C.H.U.D. C.H.I.L.I. with sliced and browned
Tofurky Italian Sausages and fresh pico de gallo.

1 cup vegetable broth, or more as needed
Half a white or yellow onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, crushed and minced
1 red bell pepper, diced (can sub green if you're broke)
2 large carrots, peeled and chopped
1 large zucchini, peeled and chopped (don't peel if it's organic)
1 jalapeno, seeded and minced
1 28-ounce can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
1 15-ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes
1 6-ounce can tomato paste 
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon dried oregano
Pinch of cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 bunch fresh cilantro, coarsely chopped

• In a large pot, get your vegetable broth cooking over medium-high heat. Once it's pretty toasty, toss in your onion, garlic and carrots. Saute them in the broth until they begin to soften. This only takes a few minutes. Don't let your veggies turn to mush.
• Add the zucchini, bell pepper, jalapeno and spices. Cook for a couple of minutes. Add more broth if needed, just to keep things from sticking.
• Throw in your beans, diced tomatoes and tomato paste. Cover and cook for about half an hour on medium-low heat, stirring occasionally. Dribble in some extra broth to get it to the texture you like. Some folks like thick chili, some like it runny. 
• When it's about ten minutes from being ready, toss in your cilantro. I like to give the cilantro just enough time to flavor the chili, but not overcook it so that it stays bright green and beautiful.
• Keep tasting and tweaking every now and then. You might want more spices or more beans. This chili is very forgiving. Just get it to the point that it tastes fantastic to YOU.
• I like to top my chili with sliced and browned sausages (Tofurkey's Italian Sausages are only $2.99 at Trader Joe's right now!) and fresh pico de gallo. You can also try some vegan sour cream or vegan cheese! Vegan queso is delicious on this too.
• Enjoy, and don't get too close to any steamy manholes.

Never Pay For Vegetable Broth Again!

A gallon jug of vegetable broth made from scraps previously destined for the compost bin.

I tell ya, if I'd ever had even a teeny clue how easy it is to make vegetable broth at home, I would never - NEVER - have paid a dime for the stuff at the grocery store. Plus, now that I see how simple it is, and how little it costs (just the price of water from my tap, and the gas I use on the stovetop), I know I've been getting royally ripped off all these years!

Seriously, never buy vegetable broth at the grocery store again. If you do, you might as well bend over and put a "welcome" sign on your butt, because the store is going to be "puttin' it to ya good," if you know what I mean... and I think you do...

First, you just start collecting your veggie scraps in a bowl in the freezer. I don't even keep a lid on mine. I just leave an open bowl in there and, every time I peel a carrot, or cut the tip off a green onion, or clip off cilantro and kale stems, I just chuck my scraps into the bowl in the freezer. When it starts looking kind of full,  I take it to the next level.

Dump the scraps into a large stock pot and cover with water. There are no exact measurements in this process, just make sure they are covered. Don't put in too much water, though, or your broth will be thin and flavorless.

Next, you bring it to a boil, give it a good stir just to make sure everything's mingling well, then cover and simmer on medium-low heat for at least an hour.

Allow the broth to cool completely before straining. Once it's cool enough to handle, use a fine mesh strainer like this one...



... to pour the broth through, catching the vegetables and dumping them to another bowl (destined for your compost bin) as they overfill the strainer.

You can store your broth in the fridge for several weeks. Or, better yet, freeze the broth in ice cube trays! You will never run out of the stuff, unless you stop eating or cooking with vegetables. And that would be a tragedy all on it's own...
Enjoy!

Low Fat Vegan Comfort Soups To Keep You Warm

Vegan Soups and Hearty Stews for All Seasons

Vegan Chili Cook Off: 14 Dynamite Vegan Chili Recipes

Have You Had Your Kale Today?

Hey All!

So, here's the new deal with me... I'm re-designing my plant-based diet to exclude as much processed food as humanly possible, most importantly processed sugar, and I am striving to make each meal as nutrient-dense as I can. So, from here on out, the goal is to cram as many vitamins, minerals, grams of fiber, and phytochemicals as I can manage into as yummy a meal as I can possibly dream up. So, the days of white flour and sugar on the Bankrupt Vegan site are done. Jen needs to get healthy, lose weight, and get back on her feet! Yes, I'm referring to myself in the 3rd person - and, yeah, I know that's creepy. But, hey, Jen is glad you're here anyway.

According to the fantastic book, Super Immunity, written by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, "Green vegetables such as kale, cabbage, collards, and broccoli, plus some non-green vegetables such as cauliflower and turnips, are called 'cruciferous' vegetable. They are named for their flowers, which have four equally spaced petals in the shape of a cross - hence the Latin word crucifer, meaning 'cross-bearer.' All vegetables contain protective micronutrients and phytochemicals, but cruciferous vegetables have a unique chemical composition: they have sulfur-containing compounds that are responsible for their pungent or bitter flavors. When their cell walls are broken by blending or chopping, a chemical reaction occurs that converts these sulfur-containing compounds into isothiocyanates (ITCs) - an array of compounds with proven and powerful immune-boosting effects and anticancer activity."  "Because different ITCs work in different locations in the cell, and on different molecules, they can have combined additive effects, working synergistically to remove carcinogens and kill cancer cells. Furthermore, some ITCs have anti-inflammatory, antioxidant, or even immunologic effects."

Holy mackerel! Cruciferous vegetables are real nutrition champions! We should be bathing in them! Shooting them up! Snorting them!
Okay - I kid, I kid... but only about the weird stuff I said we should do with vegetables (unless you're into that sort of thing). The 'nutrition champions' part is 100% true.

So, what's your favorite cruci-veg? Mine's definitely kale. It's cheap to buy organic and it's easy to prepare.
I'm always looking for ways to get it down my family's gullets without any fussin'. The very best way I've found to do that is via the wondrous and magnificent kale chip.

I love you, kale chip.

It's so easy, my daughter can help me with the preparation 

(she's always more likely to eat anything she helps to make).

De-stalkin' those li'l buggers.

Tearing them into chip-sized pieces.

A lot of folks recommend using a dehydrator but, alas, I am too poor for one of those fancy contraptions. However, after a few years of kale chip experimentation, I think I have found a savvy and resourceful way to dry out the chips without too large a risk of burning them.
Try these bad boys on for size and tell me what you think:

1 bunch kale, stems removed and torn into bite-sized bits
A drizzle of olive oil, to taste (Don't over-do it! Just a couple of teaspoons or so will do)
Pinch of garlic powder
Pinch of black pepper
Pinch of paprika, if you dare
1/4 to 1/2 cup of nutritional yeast, to taste (we like a LOT)

• Preheat oven to the "warm" setting, or to the lowest setting you can put it at. Around 200 degrees is fine. 
• Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl and use either clean hands or a pair of salad tongs to stir everything together. Make sure all leaves are well-coated.
• Place on a large baking sheet with a light coating of oil or baking spray. You can also use a Sil-Pat, if you have one. That's what I use and it works great. If you don't have one, get one! It helps you to avoid adding extra oil to your baking sheet.
• Place in the oven and set your timer on one hour. After an hour, check your chips about every 15 minutes, giving the sheet a little shake or a stir with a spatula occasionally to make sure they are cooking evenly.When they start to crisp up, have a taste to make sure they are to your liking. It's hard to tell when their done just with visual cues. And once they're dried out, they will overcook and burn very easily. Keep a close eye on them!
• When the chips are done, all them to cool for just a few minutes, then enjoy! We love them plain, but they're also fantastic on salads.
• They will keep for weeks at room temperature in an airtight container.

Whole Wheat Pita Bread

Sorry I've been incommunicado lately. I've had a very busy holiday season this year! But, hopefully, I'll get back on track soon. Unfortunately, I've been so busy that I haven't had much time to cook, and I've been eating a lot of junk food. So, yesterday, I had a little bit of time to myself while my daughter napped, and I decided to make some healthy spinach and bean dip (recipe coming soon), with whole wheat pitas, in an effort to get some good vitamins into my tummy. They were so tasty! They don't have the consistency of your standard pita - they're more like a sprouted grain tortilla. But they still puffed up nicely, and can be stuffed with any manner of yumminess. Give them a try! Here's the recipe...

4 cups whole wheat flour
1 3/4 cups water
1 1/2 teaspoons salt

• Mix all ingredients together. If you have a stand mixer, use the dough hook. Otherwise, just stir until you can't stir it anymore, then start kneading and mixing with your hands until you have a nice ball of dough. 
• Turn dough out onto a flat surface and knead for five minutes. 
• After kneading, allow the dough to rest for fifteen minutes. 
• While dough is resting, go ahead and preheat your oven to 500 degrees. If you have a baking stone place that in the oven to heat as well.
• Roll out the dough with your hands until it forms a long snake, then divide it into sixteen equal pieces.
• Roll each piece into a ball with your hands.
• Working with only two at a time, use a rolling pin to flatten the balls into wide circles, making them about a quarter of an inch thick. Place the circles onto your baking stone, or directly onto the oven rack. Watch them carefully, with the oven light on. They will only need to bake for a few minutes. Once they've puffed up nicely (or have puffed all they're going to puff) take them out and set them on a cooling rack.
• Now go roll out the next two while your oven regains its 500 degree temperature. It is important for your oven to stay very hot. 
• When your done, slather those things in vegan butter, pop them open and stuff them with hummus. Do whatever you like. Just enjoy!

NUTRITION FACTS (per pita):
Calories: 101.5 / Total Fat: 0.6g (Saturated Fat: 0.1g, Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.0g, Monounsaturated Fat: 0.1g) / Cholesterol: 0.0mg / Sodium: 218.0mg / Potassium: 0.0mg / Total Carbohydrates: 22.0g (Dietary Fiber: 3.7g, Sugar: 0.0g) / Protein: 4.0g

Delicious Vegan Bread Basket 

Ezekiel Bread Making Kit

The Mediterranean Vegan Kitchen

One-Ingredient Ice Cream!

I ran across this article on The Kitchn today and I can't wait to try it!! 

How To Make Creamy Ice Cream with Just One Ingredient!

Yes, that's right; you heard us. Creamy, soft-serve style ice cream with just one ingredient — and no ice cream maker needed! What is this one magic ingredient that can be whipped into perfectly rich and silky ice cream, with no additional dairy, sweeteners, or ingredients needed whatsoever?

If you guessed BANANA, congratulations! You're right!
What? You didn't know that bananas can make some of the best ice cream? Well, I didn't either until last week, when my sister called me up and mentioned that she's been freezing bananas and then pureeing them into ice cream.
"That's the sort of thing you discover," she sighed, "when all your friends are vegan, gluten-free, dairy-allergic, and you're on a sugar-free diet." I'd deal with a list of dietary restrictions twice as long, though, if it meant discovering more treats like this one.



It turns out that frozen bananas are good for more than just dipping in chocolate. If you freeze a banana until solid, then whiz it up in a blender or food processor, it gets creamy and a little gooey, just like good custard ice cream. I was surprised at this bit of kitchen wizardry; I assumed that a blended banana would be flaky or icy. But no — it makes creamy, rich ice cream.
Some bananas, depending on their ripeness, have a bit of that green aftertaste. My sister has been experimenting with adding in another ingredient or two, like a tablespoon of peanut butter and another of honey. Delicious!
Have you ever tried frozen-banana ice cream? Try it! It's an easy way to stay cool and use up over-ripe bananas at the same time.

Want more detailed instructions and step-by-step photos?

• Step-by-Step Instructions for One-Ingredient Ice Cream

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The Vegan Scoop: 150 Recipes for Dairy-Free Ice Cream

Vice Cream: Gourmet Vegan Desserts