Cranberry-Almond Kale Salad

I am always searching for more ways to cram kale into my diet. I love the stuff! And I always feel so great after I eat it - energized and... uh.. well, you know... "rollin' in the colon" and stuff. Hey, I just made up a new phrase! Rollin' in the colon. I like that.

1 bunch fresh kale, stalks removed and coarsely chopped
1/4 cup orange juice
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons maple syrup, agave nectar, or sugar
2 tablespoons soy sauce or liquid aminos
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 to 2 teaspoons fresh ginger, very finely grated (I use the little frozen squares)
1/4 cup sliced almonds
1/4 cup dried cranberries

• First, whisk together the following items in a large bowl: orange juice, apple cider vinegar, sweetener of your choice, soy sauce, and sesame oil. 
• Add the ginger and whisk again, until very well incorporated.
• Add the kale and use salad tongs or hands, or whatever you've got, to gently toss the kale in the dressing until every leaf if covered and dripping with good stuff.
• Now add your almonds and cranberries. Toss again.
• Enjoy!

And now I have a strange request for my readers...

PLEASE IDENTIFY THIS FRUIT FOR ME!!

I have a mystery tree growing my backyard. We've only lived here for a year, and all year long I've watched these weird little pink balls growing on the tree behind my bedroom window. Now they are falling off and I'm like, "Should I be roasting these or what?" I have no clue what they are. The little black thing on top reminds me of a persimmon, but I saw some persimmons at the grocery story recently and they were way bigger than what I have. So, I am flummoxed. Can anybody shed some light on this??

And, if you know what it is, can you also throw a recipe or two my way? The Bankrupt Vegan title is not just a clever moniker. If I have food growing in my backyard, I need to eat it!

Awesome Vegan "See Food" Feast

Being a Southerner, I pretty much grew up on my Mee Maw's fried catfish. And I have a particular fondness for the flavor of seafood because I met my husband in the seaside town where I attended college, and we were always surrounded by the stuff. It smelled great, tasted better. Since becoming vegan, I've never found anything quite akin to great seafood or my granny's fried catfish... until now!!

Here's what you see on the plate:

• Pan-Fried Tofu Wedges with Easiest-Ever Tartar Sauce.
• Cauliflower Hummus and Tortilla Chips
• Asian-Inspired Veggie Slaw
• and some olives too

And here are the recipes:

PAN-FRIED TOFU WEDGES
1 pound extra-firm tofu, lightly pressed and sliced into 16 equal wedges
1 cup unsweetened soy milk
2 tablespoons arrowroot powder or cornstarch
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 cup yellow cornmeal
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
Dash of cayenne
1 cup canola or vegetable oil

• In a small pan or wide, shallow bowl, whisk together soy milk, arrowroot, and lime juice until no lumps remain. The lime juice may curdle the milk slightly, but that's okay. I usually don't marinate the tofu, but I suppose you could marinate it up to an hour before cooking. 
• Mix all dry ingredients together in another small pan or wide, shallow bowl. 
• Heat oil over medium heat in a cast iron skillet.
• Gently dredge your tofu slices, one at a time, through the milk mixture and then through the cornmeal mixture, making sure each piece is completely and evenly coated. 
• Place gently into the frying pan. Cook for about 2 1/2 minutes on each side, turning with both a small spatula and a pair of coated tongs. Only cook a few at a time. I like to place them onto a rack in my lightly heated toaster oven after they're done frying, so I can keep them nice and warm while I finish cooking them all. It also allows some of the oil to drip off. 

EASIEST-EVER TARTAR SAUCE
1 cup vegan mayonnaise
1/4 cup dill pickle relish
1 tablespoon prepared yellow mustard
1 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon garlic powder
Salt and black pepper, to taste

• Throw it all in a bowl and stir it up. Easiest ever.

CAULIFLOWER HUMMUS
1/2 head's worth cauliflower florets, gently boiled until softened
3 cloves garlic
2 cups garbanzo beans
1/4 cup garbanzo bean cooking liquid, or more to taste
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon cumin
1 tablespoon paprika
1/8 cup lemon juice
Salt and black pepper, to taste
Dash of cayenne

• Chuck everything into a food processor and blend until creamy.

ASIAN-INSPIRED VEGGIE SLAW
I saved the best for last! I have been fiddling with this slaw (or "salad," depending on your mood) for a while now. And I think I have finally perfected it! Give it a try.
1 medium zucchini, finely diced
1 medium yellow squash, finely diced
2 carrots, peeled and finely diced
1 Granny Smith apple, diced
1/2 head green cabbage, diced

• Throw everything into a bowl and coat liberally with the following dressing. Add the dressing a little bit at a time, to taste. You probably won't use it all, but it keeps great in the fridge!

ASIAN GINGER DRESSING
2 teaspoons minced ginger root (I used the little frozen cubes)
3/4 cup olive oil
1/3 cup rice vinegar
1/2 cup soy sauce (use tamari for gluten-free)
1/4 cup water
1/8 cup agave nectar or maple syrup
1 teaspoon garlic powder
A few shakes of sesame oil
2 tablespoons lime juice

• Put all ingredients into a bottle, or something that you can vigorously shake, and shake it until it's well-mixed. I actually prepare and store this dressing in an old soy sauce bottle. It keeps very well in the fridge for several days. Just be sure to shake it up again before using it.