Quick and Easy Tropical Sorbet

The story behind this homemade sorbet is fresh in my memory because:
a) it's short, and
b) it literally just happened twenty minutes ago.

My daughter was coming into the house, after playing outside for a while, and she banged her top lip on the metal door, giving it a little scrape and making it swell up. So, I told her I'd make her something cold to help the swelling go down. I thought I would whip up a smoothie real quick, but my blender was in the dishwasher getting hosed down. However, my food processor was clean and available! So, I swirled together a bunch of stuff that I found in my freezer and fridge and made a sorbet, not certain how it was going to turn out. But you know what? IT WAS DELICIOUS! I thought I'd hop onto the blog and share it with you guys before I forgot what I put in it - it's perfect for a cooling spring and summer pick-me-up. I put the leftover sorbet in popsicle molds. Can't wait to try those too!

This makes a lot, so halve the amounts if you don't want more sorbet than two to four people can eat in one sitting. Also, I'm just kind of memory-eyeballing the amounts here. I did not measure this. I just tossed stuff into the food processor and hoped for the best. It's just how I like to live my life.

1 cup frozen pineapple chunks
1 cup frozen peach slices
1 cup frozen nectarine slices
1 cup frozen strawberries
1 cup frozen mango chunks
1 cup ruby red grapefruit juice
3 tablespoons agave or maple syrup, or more to taste
1/2 - 1 cup non-dairy milk, to taste

• Put everything except the milk into a large (I think mine is a 4-quart) food processor and start spinning on high. Gradually drizzle in the milk, just a few tablespoons at a time, to thin out the mixture to your desired consistency. 
• Serve it up and enjoy!

The Stuff

"Are you eating it? Or is it eating you?" 

Anyone remember The Stuff? It's a bit more obscure, I'll admit, but the message resounds still today that primarily greed rules our food supply. The basic premise is that some miners find this yogurt-y lookin' "stuff" bubbling up from the ground, they taste it and decide it's delicious, then it gets marketed to the general public, who become addicted to it, become zombies, and basically get eaten from the inside out by it, eventually dying. 

The Stuff (1985)

Now, tell me how creepily familiar this next part sounds...

So, once it's discovered that The Stuff is killing people, and John Q. Public has been warned to dispose of his stash, the food industry starts experimenting with using smaller amounts of The Stuff inside regular ice cream so that they can keep the buyers addicted,and keep making money on it, but hopefully not have the customers get eaten from the inside out, at least not fast enough to have The Stuff be blamed for it. 

MSG anyone? Processed meat, maybe? Trans fat, much?!

Now let me just step down off of my soap box, brush myself off and get composed...

Ah, there we go. Let's get down to my very edible, healthy, and non-addictive (at least not in the "bad" way) version of The Stuff.

The Stuff in the film is white, but who wants to eat white puddin', I ask you? So, mine is chocolate. I threw coconut shavings on top for some white effect. So there.

This is an even simpler version of the Vegan Chocolate Mousse we all know and love. You know, the one where you melt chocolate chips down and combine them with non-dairy milk and sugar and tofu. But, frankly, when I'm really craving chocolate, I'm also usually in a brain-state that dictates, "You are too tired and bitchy to wait for chocolate to melt!" That's where The Stuff comes in. It's just powdered cocoa, silken tofu (hell, I don't even drain it), your choice of liquid sweetener, and a touch of vanilla. And it's awesome! 

Try some!

You'll love it, pretty mama.

2 12.3-ounce boxes silken tofu

1/2 cup powdered cocoa

1/2 cup your choice liquid sweetener*, or more to taste

1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

• This could not be simpler. Put all of the ingredients in a food processor and whirl until it's smooth and creamy, stopping to scrape down the sides every now and then. Once it's creamy, give it a taste and add more sweetener if necessary. That's all there is to it.
• *I used raw agave with a touch of liquid stevia, but maple syrup or homemade simple syrup (probably just about anything sweet and runny) works too.  

Please take care to tighten the lid on your food processor, or this might happen...

Apricot Coconut Oatmeal Clusters

You know how some people do some stuff to relief stress in their lives? Like, my husband loves to read boring philosophy books and write songs on his guitar. That's just how the guy unwinds. My neighbor is a gardener and a fairly hardcore churchgoer - that's what blows his hair back. You know what I mean? We all have that thing that we love to do, and it makes us feel really good, and without it we get really, really wound up. For me, it's baking. I mean, seriously, I freakin' love to bake! But I'm... well... what's the PC term for it... I'm - uh - differently weighted... I'm gravitationally challenged... You get me? I'm fat, people! I'm a fat herbivore. Yes, they do exist! And I don't have a problem with being fat. My husband thinks I'm sexy, so it really doesn't bother me too much, with the exception of the fact that I am forever destroying the poor underwires in my bras and my knees are begging for mercy 24/7. There's also the desire to live long enough to meet my grandchildren and to enjoy the twilight years of retirement, kickin' back on the shore outside my imaginary lake house. So! To that end, I am always trying to create baked goods that are at least moderately healthy, but definitely succulent. But not SO succulent that I eat forty at a sitting. To that end, I introduce my latest home-bakery creation, the Apricot Coconut Oatmeal Cluster. It was meant to be a cookie, but it came out more like a clustery thing, so there ya go. There's no oil or butter in it, and minimal sugar (compared to my standard baked fare), plus it's jam-packed with fiber, so it's a win-win! Give these li'l cuties a try. You'll love 'em and you don't even have to feel guilty about eating them.

1 ripe banana, mashed with a fork

1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup liquid sweetener (I used agave, but maple syrup'd work)

2 tablespoons almond milk

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 1/2 cup rolled oats

1/2 cup whole wheat flour

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Dash of nutmeg

1/2 to 1 cup dried apricots, coarsely chopped

1/4 to 1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes*

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
• Spray a large cookie sheet with baking spray, or use parchment paper or a SilPat.
• Mix the banana, applesauce, sugar, liquid sweetener, milk and vanilla together in a large bowl. 
• On top of the wet mixture, gently add the dry ingredients, but do not stir until you have everything added.
• Stir gently until just mixed.
• Gently fold in the apricots and coconut flakes. 
• *Side Note: I used organic unsweetened coconut flakes, which is what you see in the picture, not standard shredded coconut. But I think you could just about use anything in these clusters and it would taste nice. For example, you could eliminate the cinnamon and nutmeg and throw in some dark chocolate chips in place of the coconut. Or some nuts! Feel free to play around with the recipe and share your results in the comments.
• Drop by rounded teaspoon onto cookie sheet (I used a small cookie scoop).
• Bake for 15 minutes.
• Enjoy with an ice cold glass of almond milk or a cup of hot Earl Grey tea. Delicious!

Cranberry-Almond Kale Salad

I am always searching for more ways to cram kale into my diet. I love the stuff! And I always feel so great after I eat it - energized and... uh.. well, you know... "rollin' in the colon" and stuff. Hey, I just made up a new phrase! Rollin' in the colon. I like that.

1 bunch fresh kale, stalks removed and coarsely chopped
1/4 cup orange juice
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tablespoons maple syrup, agave nectar, or sugar
2 tablespoons soy sauce or liquid aminos
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 to 2 teaspoons fresh ginger, very finely grated (I use the little frozen squares)
1/4 cup sliced almonds
1/4 cup dried cranberries

• First, whisk together the following items in a large bowl: orange juice, apple cider vinegar, sweetener of your choice, soy sauce, and sesame oil. 
• Add the ginger and whisk again, until very well incorporated.
• Add the kale and use salad tongs or hands, or whatever you've got, to gently toss the kale in the dressing until every leaf if covered and dripping with good stuff.
• Now add your almonds and cranberries. Toss again.
• Enjoy!

And now I have a strange request for my readers...

PLEASE IDENTIFY THIS FRUIT FOR ME!!

I have a mystery tree growing my backyard. We've only lived here for a year, and all year long I've watched these weird little pink balls growing on the tree behind my bedroom window. Now they are falling off and I'm like, "Should I be roasting these or what?" I have no clue what they are. The little black thing on top reminds me of a persimmon, but I saw some persimmons at the grocery story recently and they were way bigger than what I have. So, I am flummoxed. Can anybody shed some light on this??

And, if you know what it is, can you also throw a recipe or two my way? The Bankrupt Vegan title is not just a clever moniker. If I have food growing in my backyard, I need to eat it!

Chocolate No-Milk Shake Redux

I've been reading a fantastic book by Dr. Joel Fuhrman called Disease-Proof Your Child: Feeding Kids Right. I have underlined, starred, and dog-eared at least 80% of what I've read so far. Tons of great information!
I'm bringing this up because when I was reading this morning, I was particularly struck (stricken?) by the following passage:

"Raw nuts, seeds, and avocados are also foods rich in fat, but they contain healthy fats, important for normal growth and development, and they are rich in nutrients as well. Consumption of these foods has been shown to have powerful protective effects against disease. The results are so striking that in one study men who ate raw nuts had half the heart attack rate compared to men who did not eat nuts. Furthermore, eating raw nuts and seeds has been shown to decrease the death rate from all causes, extending life-span... Eating nuts and seeds makes us live a lot longer and prevents both heart disease and cancer. Eating walnuts, almonds, pistachio nuts, sunflower seeds, flax seeds, and many more varieties is the best way for us and especially our children, to get the healthy fats we need from nature's tasty and unpolluted source...
When children obtain most of their essential fats from raw nuts and seeds, they not only get the healthier fats, but they also receive lots of beneficial minerals and antioxidants in the process."

This got me thinking about the amount of nuts and seeds I eat. Not many! Nuts and seeds are expensive, and I can only get them when they are on sale or I find them at the salvage store, which happens but is rare. So, basically, I'll just have to give up something less essential (perhaps chocolate chips, for example) so that I can afford the dang nuts. And, even more importantly, I need to find ways for my daughter (who hates nuts) to do it too. And that reminded me of a no-milk shake recipe that I posted on here almost two years ago.

Here's the link to the original post: Chocolate No-Milk Shake

This no-milk "milkshake" is comprised primarily of raw cashews, and it truly does taste like a bona fide chocolate milkshake. I remember in the summer of 2010, right after I discovered how to make these, my daughter and I drank them daily. She had no idea she was chug-a-luggin' a bunch of raw nuts. So, it made me feel great because I was giving her something healthy, and she felt great because she thought she was having chocolate. Win-win! I'm definitely going to start making these again.

1 cup raw, unsalted cashews
1 tray of ice cubes (about 3 cups)
1/8 cup powdered unsweetened cocoa
1 cup soy or nut milk
1/4 cup agave nectar or maple syrup
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt

• Toss all ingredients, except the ice, into a strong blender and blend until smooth. 
• Add ice cubes through the hole in the lid one at a time, and continue to blend until nice and creamy.
• Try substituting maple or mint flavoring for the vanilla sometime. Both are equally yummy!
• Makes two large servings, or four small ones.
• Enjoy!

Fruity Yogurt Freezer Pops

I'm going to be experimenting with freezer pops and ice cream quite a bit over the summer because my daughter constantly asks for both. I sometimes get lucky and find Rice Dream or Almond Bites (her favorite!) at the salvage grocery store, but I cannot afford either at the regular grocery. So, for those times that I'm not so lucky, I need a quick fix to replace her daily question, "How 'bout some ice cream, Momma?"

This is my first attempt, and I think it turned out pretty nicely, but I really want to try something with chocolate, and maybe some tofu in it, so I can dose her with extra protein while she snacks.

10 large strawberries
1/2 cup orange juice
1 banana
1 6-ounce cup vanilla or strawberry yogurt (soy yogurt is fine)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup agave nectar

• Whirl all ingredients in a blender until smooth and creamy. 
• Pour into preferred freezer pop vehicle. If you have nothing available, an ice tray with plastic baby spoons or straws works great.
• Allow to freeze overnight. 
• Makes about 6 servings, dependent on the type of pops you're using.
• Enjoy! 

NUTRITIONAL INFO (per serving):

Calories: 100.6 / Total Fat: 0.6g (Saturated Fat: 0.3g, Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.1g, Monounsaturated Fat: 0.1g) / Cholesterol: 1.7mg / Sodium: 24.1mg / Potassium: 167.6mg / Total Carbohydrates: 22.2g (Dietary Fiber: 1.2g, Sugar: 19.1g) / Protein: 2.0g

Popsicles and Other Fruity Frozen Treats 

Pops!: Icy Treats for Everyone 

Tovolo Yellow Groovy Pop Molds

Tovolo Green Shooting Star Pop Molds

Gluten-Free Agave-Sweetened Corn Bread

Remember that great deal on brown rice flour I told you to take advantage of a short while back? Well, now it's time to start feeding the fiddler and using that stuff! At the behest of Kris Carr's new book, Crazy Sexy Diet, my husband and I have decided to try a gluten-free and sugar-free diet for a while to see how it treats us. As usual, he's already lost fifteen pounds and I have lost nothing. Nothing! Why am I perpetually unable to lose weight? Am I cursed?? Anyway, I will say that the gluten-free transition has given me a lot more energy. I've been going to the park with my little one a lot more, and I even hoisted my big butt up onto a bicycle and rode a while yesterday. So, weight loss or not, I am definitely seeing positive changes. Thanks, Kris Carr! Now if I could just get into the habit of downing a big green smoothie every morning instead of a cup of coffee... Well, I'm still working on that.
This recipe is adapted from the cornbread recipe in the Gluten-Free Vegan cookbook. The only things I did different were that I left out the sorghum flour (I just doubled the brown rice flour), I substituted canola oil for the grapeseed oil, and I brushed a little bit of melted Earth Balance butter over the top of the finished product. Can you say, "Yummy-licious?!" We ate this cornbread with some homemade black turtle beans, and it was the perfect complement. Hope you like it too!

CORNBREAD  
(recipe from Gluten-Free Vegan by Susan O'Brien)
"This cornbread can be stored in an air-tight container for several days."

1 1/2 teaspoons Ener-G Egg Replacer (whisked together with 2 tablespoons warm water)
1/4 cup agave nectar
1/4 cup grapeseed oil
1 cup hemp or soy milk
1/2 cup brown rice flour
1/2 cup sorghum flour
4 teaspoons baking powder*
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup cornmeal

• Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F. 
• Spray an 8 or 9 inch square pan with vegetable oil nonstick spray.
• In a small bowl, whisk the egg replacer with the warm water, until bubbles form and the powder has completely dissolved.
• In a large mixing bowl, combine the agave nectar and oil, and beat until smooth and thick, 1 to 2 minutes. Add the egg replacer mixture and milk, and continue to mix until well blended. 
• In a separate bowl, combine the brown rice and sorghum flours, baking powder, salt, and cornmeal, and stir well together. Add the flour mixture to the liquid mixture and stir until it becomes incorporated. Do not overbeat. Pour into the prepared baking pan and bake until lightly browned on top, 18 to 20 minutes. 
• Cool on wire rack and serve. 
• This is wonderful served as an accompaniment to black beans, with a side of guacamole.

*The baking powder link I provided in the recipe will take you to a really good deal on aluminum-free baking powder by Bob's Red Mill. None of the stores in my area supply aluminum-free baking powder, so I was really happy to find this and wanted to share it with you guys!

  
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Chocolate No-Milk Shake

Oh. My. God! This tastes just like a chocolate milkshake made with ice cream. You could easily fool any die-hard dairy lover. It's sooooo good! And, best yet, it's pretty healthy too.
The recipe calls for a cup of raw cashews, and raw cashews don't come cheap, but I got lucky and found them for 2 bucks a pound at my local salvage grocery store! Big-time score!!!
Here's the recipe...
(you are going to love me so much for this)

1 C raw, unsalted cashews
1 tray of ice cubes (about 3 cups)
1/8 cup powdered unsweetened cocoa
1 C soy or nut milk
1/4 C agave nectar, maple syrup, sugar, or stevia
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/4 tsp salt

• Toss all ingredients, except the ice, into a strong blender and blend until smooth. 
• Add ice cubes through the hole in the lid one at a time, and continue to blend until nice and creamy.
• Try substituting maple or mint flavoring for the vanilla sometime. Both are equally yummy!
• Enjoy!

Kristen Suzanne's EASY Raw Vegan Smoothies 

Green Smoothie Revolution

Purple Monster Muffins

These muffins are easy to make and the batter is bright purple! Kids love it. And, best of all, they are full of yummy nutrients thanks to a healthy helping of fruit, nuts and agave nectar.

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 10-ounce bag frozen mixed berries
1/4 cup finely chopped walnuts
1 medium banana, peeled and mashed
1/2 cup vegan butter, melted and cooled to room temp.
1/3 cup soy or nut milk
1/4 cup raw agave nectar or maple syrup
sliced almonds, for topping
sucanat, for topping

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
• Sift flour, baking powder and baking soda together into a large mixing bowl.
• Add remaining ingredients and carefully stir with a wooden spoon until well mixed.
• Spray a 12-cup muffin tin with baking spray, or line with muffin cups.
• Fill all cups with equal amounts of batter. I use a large cookie scoop to measure it out.
• Top each muffin with a tablespoon of sliced almonds, followed by a sprinkle of sucanat, to taste.
• Bake for 20 minutes. 
• Allow to cool completely before removing from muffin pan.
• Enjoy!

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Easy Peasy Granola Squares

Forget store-bought granola bars. They're overpriced and junky. These granola squares are healthy, super-easy to concoct, and make your whole house smell amazing while they bake!

2 C old-fashioned oats
3/4 C toasted wheat germ
3/4 C chopped walnuts
3/4 C raisins
1/2 C maple syrup or agave nectar
1/2 C canola or vegetable oil
2 Tbsp sucanat (packed light brown sugar will work too)
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
1 Tbsp flax meal
4 Tbsp warm water

• Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Coat a 9 x 13" baking pan with non-stick baking spray, or lightly oil and flour the pan. 
• In a small bowl, combine flax meal and water. Stir until no lumps are present. Allow to sit for a few minutes until the mixture forms a soft gel. 
• Combine all remaining ingredients in a large bowl and stir until well-mixed.
• Add flax meal mixture to large bowl and combine all ingredients.
• Transfer mixture to prepared baking pan and bake, uncovered, for 30 - 35 minutes, or until golden brown and crisp.
• Cool in pan on a wire rack. 
• Do not cut until mixture has cooled.
• Enjoy!

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Easy Mixed Berry Pie

This pie is so easy, just mildly tart and delicious, it will probably get gobbled up in one sitting. But, that's okay because you can make another one! No biggie.

First, buy or make a pie crust. The one I buy is perfect, if you can find it. It's from the Wholly Wholesome Baked Goods company. It's whole wheat, vegan, trans fat free and really wonderful. It won Fifth Place in Good Housekeeping Magazine's Pie Crust Taste Test (the traditional Wholly Wholesome crust won First!) and First Place in the Epicurious Whole Wheat Pie Crust Taste Test. It comes two crusts to a pack and costs three bucks and some change. You seriously can't beat it. I was not paid or bribed to say any of this, I swear. I just really love this crust!
But, regardless of whether you find this crust or not, have a favorite of your own, or prefer to make one yourself, go ahead and have your crust baked up and ready to go before you start the filling. Now, on to the recipe...

1 10-ounce bag of frozen strawberries
1 10-ounce bag of mixed berries
2 1/2 tablespoons corn starch
2/3 cup maple syrup or agave nectar (if sugar is preferred, use 3/4 cup)
2/3 cup water
2 tablespoons vegan butter
1 tablespoon lemon juice

• Let berries thaw on the counter top for a while before you begin the recipe.
• In a medium saucepan, whisk together the corn starch, agave and water.
• Add the berries and stir over medium heat until the sauce begins to thicken.
• Once the berries are hot and the sauce is nice and thick (it will have the consistency of a thin pudding) turn off the heat and add the butter and lemon juice. Gently stir everything together.
• Allow the berry mixture to cool for about half an hour, uncovered. Then pour it into your prepared pie crust.
• Stick it in the fridge, covered (I use an overturned dinner plate to cover mine - plastic wrap and tin foil are a waste of money and can't be recycled), and leave it until it has set, which will probably take several hours. I usually make my pie in the evening and then leave it in the fridge overnight. I'm not going to lie to you - it makes an awesome breakfast!

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Roasted Acorn Squash with Walnuts

 

Remember the six acorn squash I picked up at the salvage grocery for only 29 cents a pound last week? Well, here's what I did with them, and they were delicious!

1 acorn squash
1/4 C chopped walnuts
1/4 C agave nectar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg

• Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
  
• Cut squash in half horizontally, removing the seeds and string. I like to chuck the seeds out into my side yard, in the hopes that one of them will root and grow some free squash for me next year! So far, no luck...
• Place squash upside down in a shallow pan with 1/4 inch of water. Bake for 35 minutes.
• Pour off the water and turn over squash. 
• Sprinkle walnuts, cinnamon and nutmeg on top, then drizzle with agave. Feel free to adjust amounts based on your personal taste.
• Place under broiler for 5 minutes.
• Enjoy!!

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