The Vegan Hunter...

...Uses Every Part of the Lemon!

(Copyright: The Far Side, Gary Larson)

I have lately been buying bags of lemons and limes, instead of getting pre-made lemon and lime juice, because Trader Joe's has organic bagfuls for cheap and I like to avoid the preservatives that come in the pre-made stuff.

But I must admit, I am guilty of throwing away mushy, un-used citrus after a time, and I am leaning into that no-waste lifestyle all the kids have been talking about. With that in mind, I started wondering if I could freeze lemon bits - you know, after I've butchered the lemon. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) It turns out, you absolutely CAN use that whole lemon, without wasting a single bit!

To start, zest your lemons. I use a little handheld zester (pictured), which gives me a decent wrist workout, but you can use a micro-plane if you have one. Go wild and zest them all. It's tedious business so listen to podcasts while doing it or you will get really bored. I recommend Hello From the Magic Tavern.

I zested limes too. Ain't they cute?
(Please ignore the funky zest chunks on my fingers.)

Next you will place those zesty li'l strips into a freezer safe container and freeze 'em. I am using an old glass jelly jar (pictured above) because baggies are for chumps. Less waste, y'all!

Once you've got your li'l zesties chillin' (my rap name is now officially MC Li'l Zesty!) you can move on to the juicing phase of our homesteading project. You want to roll those babies on your countertop with the palm and heel of your hand to release all the juices and oils. Trust me, it makes them easier to juice, the juice tastes better, AND you get more juice! Once you've gotten them good and relaxed with your countertop massage, you can cut them into halves and start squeezing. Here is the set up I like to use...

It's just a couple of mesh strainers over a big 4C measuring cup. You can use any method you want. If you're super cool, you can do that hand-squeeze thing that chefs do. Or you can do it like Chef Gina Galvez does in the following video. This looks great, but believe it or not, I do not own a pair of tongs! That's so dumb, right?! I need to get some.


Once you've got your juice collected, measure it out by teaspoonfuls into an ice tray of some sort. I am using a little tray that some mango mochi from Trader Joe's came in. It's perfect for this!

You'll never guess what comes next... go ahead, guess... I'll wait... You freeze it, guys! Once frozen grab another old jelly jar to store your lemony nuggets in. And the next time you need lemon or lime zests or juice for a recipe you just grab one! It's so great!

But, wait, we're not done. You'll be left with a bunch of wonderful-smelling citrus rinds. Don't throw them away! If you don't have a garbage disposal, you can compost them. If you DO have a garbage disposal, I've got a real treat for you. Cut them up into smaller pieces. You don't have to be neat about it. Just half the halves and maybe do a couple more rough chops to break them up. Then layer them into your disposal with ice cubes. Like, do a handful of rinds then a couple of cubes, then some more rinds, then a couple more cubes, etc. Turn the water on cool and let the disposal rip. The ice will freeze the grease that's on your disposal blades, the oil from the rinds will help sweep it off, and the chunkiness of the rinds will carry the yuck right down to disposal nirvana. Your disposal will be clean and it will smell great!

Congratulations you! You bought a bag of lemons and not a single one of them went into the trash. No go make lemonade and hummus!

P.S. If you need to go buy a zester or something, can you use my Amazon link? Just click the little Amazon box below. It won't cost you any more $$, and I'll get a little kickback. Thanks!

Autumn's Easiest Dried Apples

I know I'm a little late with this post. I actually made these dried apples and took this picture well over a month ago, but it's been busy around here. I vow, right now, to get back to posting more regularly! Now that I am jobless I seriously have no excuse. But I'm one of those moderately crazy OCD people who think they can accomplish nothing creative until their house is clean. So, I end up cleaning constantly, and never writing or exercising or anything else useful until my house is clean, which it never is, so you get my drift... My new year's resolution is going to be to let the house be messy and get my creative stuff done first! As I type, there are muddy dog prints on the carpet in the back room and a pile of dishes in the kitchen sink. I can't let those things haunt me. Let's get to the apples!

For this recipe you will need a dehydrator, and it does not have to be a fancy one. The dehydrator I used cost $20 (I got it at Aldi last summer) and it works great! And you don't have to have an apple peeler/corer combo, but it saves you an hour or more of peeling and chopping and helps to make sure all of your apples are the same thickness. I'm talking about one of these things...

(Affiliate link- Click the photo to be taken to the product.)

I recommend a stout, cast-iron body corer with a clamp (like in the picture) as opposed to a suction cup. Again, these run about $20.

Use a nice sweet, or tart, apple. I like to use Pink Lady apples. A Red Delicious, for example, might not make for a very flavorful chip. But a Jazz or Granny Smith would make a yummy chip for sure!

So basically, you just twirl your apple through this contraption and it takes the skin off (drying the skin makes it too chewy - trust me and take it off), cores the apple and spiral slices it all at the same time. What you have left is just the good "apple meat." Take a knife and slice it just once from top to bottom, which will leave you with a lovely stack of evenly sliced apple chips. Lay each chip in a single layer in your dehydrator. The sides can be touching, but it is very important that the apples not overlap one another.

If you're wondering about browning, don't worry. The first time I tried this, I was very concerned about whether or not I needed to dip my apples into a lemon juice solution (or something similar), but I read online that it wasn't necessary and I went for it. The apples you see in the photo have not been treated, or flavored, with anything. I just popped the raw apple slices right into the dehydrator and that was it.

Once your apples are set, turn on your dehydrator (mine does not have any particular settings, just a plug that turns it on and off) and let those babies crisp up over a twenty-four hour period, give or take a few hours depending on your machine. Rotate the layers every couple of hours or so. Make sure the apples are totally dry. If you take them out too soon and don't eat them right away they will spoil quickly.

Once they're done, allow them to cool at room temperature before storing them in an airtight container. Then enjoy! They are delicious and nutritious - and a perfect compliment to movie night.

Christine's Premium Motor Oil

Christine's Premium Motor Oil tastes oddly like chocolate syrup...

There are those perfect vegans in the world whose taste buds are so pure, unadulterated and refined that they claim to never crave any unhealthy foods. They might say, for instance, "I used to Jones for ice cream 24/7, but now all I ever want is kale." To this I say both Piff and Twaddle. C'mon, guys. Are you seriously telling me that you never crave slumber party food? Like, never?! 

Well, the opposite of that is me - I am a junk food enthusiast who could live on homemade popcorn drenched in vegan butter and nooch, and who loves to bake bake bake! Yes, I do try to control my intake of junk food, and I eat my fair share of kale, but I would be straight-up lying if I said I never had a sharp craving for the rich stuff - sugary, chocolaty, richy rich, ooey gooey, yummy stuff. Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about!

Luckily, thanks to the absolute necessity of learning to cook if you want to be a healthy vegan, I can make my own versions of just about anything I'm craving. That's where this li'l awesome recipe comes in.

My six-year-old daughter, Lila, wanted ice cream with chocolate syrup. (She has two boxes of Ruby's Rockets in the freezer, but - no! - it had to be ice cream.) We all know the frozen banana ice cream trick (if you don't know it, scroll down to the bottom of this post), and it always suffices. She loves the stuff. But what about the syrup? I could probably find something that's technically vegan at the grocery store, but I don't want my little toot gobbling up gallons of HFCS and artificial dyes. What to do? Keep reading and you'll find out...

Christine (1983)

Anybody remember the movie Christine? The book was by the great Stephen King, the movie by the equally great John Carpenter. If you've never seen it, it's honestly really good. And, like so few horror films from the 80s, it stands the test of time. If you have cable TV (I, myself, do not *sigh*) I'm sure you'll be able to catch it in October when AMC starts running horror films all month. I highly recommend that you DVR it. Also, the title character, Christine, is a car. Thus, the motor oil association.

And now, let's get to the chocolate syrup recipe... Nom nom nom.

Christine's Premium Motor Oil

1 cup non-dairy milk (I used almond milk)

1 cup sugar, or more to taste

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted if lumpy

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon vanilla
A few drops/squirts liquid stevia (optional)

• Bring the milk to a gentle boil in a small saucepan, stirring frequently with a whisk. 
• Add the sugar and whisk to dissolve.
• Add the cocoa and salt. Whisk to mix. Reduce heat to medium-low. 
• Let mixture simmer for a few minutes, stirring or whisking occasionally, until it starts to thicken a bit. It will thicken more as it cools.
• Remove from heat and whisk in the vanilla.
• Grab a spoon and try some. If it's not sweet enough, you can stir in a few drops of liquid stevia to pump it up.
• Allow to cool before pouring on ice cream or stirring into milk. This stuff makes a fantastic glass of chocolate milk!!
• Store in the refrigerator in an air-tight container.

Oh yeah, buddy! Banana ice cream with homemade chocolate syrup.
Life is gooooooooooood.

Side Note: We have begun homeschooling our daughter and this recipe was a fantastic cooking lesson for a six-year-old. It didn't have a lot of ingredients, but it did involve actual stove top cooking and mixing. She loved it!

Banana Ice Cream

If you've never made the banana ice cream, you must try it! It's so wonderful, and so insanely easy, you will never look back. Peel some bananas, break them up into two or three pieces and freeze them. When you're ready to make the ice cream, just toss the frozen bananas into a food processor and whirl until smooth - no sugar needed. My kid eats it right out of the processor tub and this is the reaction I get every time.

 A smile worth every dollop of ice cream dropped on the kitchen floor.

Never Pay For Vegetable Broth Again!

A gallon jug of vegetable broth made from scraps previously destined for the compost bin.

I tell ya, if I'd ever had even a teeny clue how easy it is to make vegetable broth at home, I would never - NEVER - have paid a dime for the stuff at the grocery store. Plus, now that I see how simple it is, and how little it costs (just the price of water from my tap, and the gas I use on the stovetop), I know I've been getting royally ripped off all these years!

Seriously, never buy vegetable broth at the grocery store again. If you do, you might as well bend over and put a "welcome" sign on your butt, because the store is going to be "puttin' it to ya good," if you know what I mean... and I think you do...

First, you just start collecting your veggie scraps in a bowl in the freezer. I don't even keep a lid on mine. I just leave an open bowl in there and, every time I peel a carrot, or cut the tip off a green onion, or clip off cilantro and kale stems, I just chuck my scraps into the bowl in the freezer. When it starts looking kind of full,  I take it to the next level.

Dump the scraps into a large stock pot and cover with water. There are no exact measurements in this process, just make sure they are covered. Don't put in too much water, though, or your broth will be thin and flavorless.

Next, you bring it to a boil, give it a good stir just to make sure everything's mingling well, then cover and simmer on medium-low heat for at least an hour.

Allow the broth to cool completely before straining. Once it's cool enough to handle, use a fine mesh strainer like this one...



... to pour the broth through, catching the vegetables and dumping them to another bowl (destined for your compost bin) as they overfill the strainer.

You can store your broth in the fridge for several weeks. Or, better yet, freeze the broth in ice cube trays! You will never run out of the stuff, unless you stop eating or cooking with vegetables. And that would be a tragedy all on it's own...
Enjoy!

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Homemade Vegan "Parmesan"

I've had this cookbook, Vegan Food Gifts, on my Amazon Wish List ever since I got wind of it, and I tried unsuccessfully to win it from two or three different blogs during MoFo. When I finally figured out I wasn't going to win it, I just sucked it up and bought the damn thing. Because (spoiler alert to my friends, family, and neighbors) this year I'm planning to give "food gifts" as presents. My first course of action is to start making and sampling the recipes so I can figure out what's good to give.

So far, I've made the Fudgy Brownie Mix (photo at the bottom of this post) and the Italian-Spiced Parm-y Sprinkles. There are about 50 remaining recipes I'm dying to try. They all look soooooo good! And since nobody else I know is vegan, besides my husband, and my health guru, Katherine, I have to choose wisely when considering what to give as gifts. So far, I've only tried the two recipes, but they were both fantastic. And I wanted to share the "parmesan" recipe with you because, not only does it taste amazing, but it's easy to make, not too pricey, looks and smells gorgeous, makes a fabulous topper for garlic bread, spaghetti, popcorn, and salads. And I think even non-vegans can appreciate the yummy flavors it presents. Plus, it's got walnuts in it! Hello, protein! My daughter hates the taste and texture of nuts, but she loves this stuff. So, now I can sprinkle the health benefits of nuts onto her salads and she's none the wiser.

1/2 cup walnut pieces
1/2 cup nutritional yeast
1/2 panko-style bread crumbs
1/2 teaspoon dried basil
1/4 teaspoon fennel seed (*I subbed cumin)
1/4 teaspoon dried parsley
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
1/4 teaspoon dried marjoram
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon salt, to taste

• Add all the ingredients to a blender or food processor and pulse until the walnut pieces have been ground into a powder. 
• Yield: About 1 1/2 cups.

And, since I want to make you really, really crave chocolate right now, here's a picture of the brownie mix prepared...

The mix would be so cute in a jar, and all your recipient has to add is milk, oil, and applesauce. I will definitely be handing this one out for Christmas!

Homemade Taco Seasoning

In my experience, the best way to save money is by doing stuff yourself instead of paying someone to do it for you. I'm sure that might have elicited a few "d'uhs" from the crowd, but I felt it was worth saying. I mean, why pay a corporation to slap a fancy label on a spray bottle of chemically-toxic window cleaner when you can squirt some vinegar on the glass and get the same result, minus the lung irritation?

So, I'm going to intermittently start posting DIY-style recipes for all kinds of great stuff, particularly stuff that leeches money out of your wallet unnecessarily. From cleaning products to spice mixes, just keep tuning in and start taking notes. I've got some great ideas to share with you!

To start with, here's an easy recipe for homemade taco seasoning. The ingredients are inexpensive and you can make up a nice big bowl of this stuff for what you might pay for just a few packets of the store-bought mess, and you won't have to worry about MSG and anti-caking agents. It's a win-win!

2 tablespoons chili powder
2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons black pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

Here's what the finished product will look like.

• I recommend sprinkling in about 3 tablespoons of seasoning per pound of veggie crumbles, and maybe drop in a teaspoon or two of water as well. 
• Enjoy!

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