Red Lentil and Quinoa Slow-Cooker Chili

Heya! It's a been long time, sorry about that. I've been homeschooling my eight-year-old and it takes up a LOT of time. But I'm going to [try real hard to] get better about scheduling blogging time for myself so I can get back into the game. I also haven't been blogging much because I haven't really had the time to get into the kitchen and create new recipes. I've mostly just been cooking out of cookbooks and/or buying ready-made food, which is never as good as fresh, but sometimes your allergies are really awful and you're too tired to pan-fry some friggin' tofu or whatever. But the other day I had a little burst of energy and some ingredients on hand to make this chili from lentils and quinoa and, man it turned out great! So, I definitely wanted to share it with you. Give it a try - it's so easy, it makes a ton, and it's super healthy. Read on for details!

1 yellow onion, diced (save half to use as garnish, if you like)

4 cloves garlic, minced
1 red bell pepper, diced with seeds removed
1/2 cup quinoa, rinsed and drained but uncooked
1 cup split red lentils, uncooked
1 15-ounce can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 28-ounce can crushed plum tomatoes
1 package of vegetarian "meat" crumbles (optional, but adds nice texture)
2-4 cups vegetable stock, depending on the consistency you prefer
3 tablespoons tomato paste
.5 to 1 tsp salt, to taste
.5 teaspoon cumin
.5 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 bay leaf (optional but calms the farts, or so they say)
handful cilantro, chopped (optional, for garnish)
hot sauce (optional, for garnish)

• It really could not be simpler. Just toss all of the prepped ingredients into your slow cooker, cook on high for about 4 to 6 hours (or more, if needed). Give it a stir maybe once an hour or so, if you're home to do that. If not, don't sweat it.
• Ladle into serving bowls and top with onion, cilantro and hot sauce. I think some fresh avocado would be nice on this too, but I didn't have any. Boo.
• Enjoy!

Before I go, I want to share some photos with you of my most recent trip to our town's most popular (okay, only) vegan restaurant, Spiral Diner. It's been a while since I've visited, because it's kind of 'spensive, but it was every bit as good as it was when I started going there the first year they opened, which feels like about a million years ago. Check out this grub, y'all.

Nachos Supremo

Hot Potato Grilled Cheese Sandwich
It was basically a smushed baked potato with all the trimmings grilled into a sandwich, and it was amazing!!

S'ketti and Meatballs with Garlic Toast

I bought one of these super cute mugs too!
Is it just my imagination or is that tiny triangle a derivative of the TriForce?
(Only fellow nerds will know what I'm talking about.)

C.H.U.D. C.H.I.L.I.

Why, yes, that is an edible C.H.U.D., complete with carrot claws and olive eyes. Is it too terrifying to eat, or too cute? I'll let you decide.

Happy MoFo, everyone! Let's get this month-long party started! 
The theme I'm working with is 80's horror films. And what better film to start with than C.H.U.D.?

I grew up in Waco, TX, and the only place to rent movies was at a place called Flicks, which was in a tiny converted house wedged between the Piggly Wiggly and a full-service gas station. I was a frequent Flicks customer. My PawPaw drove me there every Friday and Saturday and I would easily watch between 4 to 6 horror films every weekend. There really wasn't much to do in Waco, TX, in the 80s before you were old enough to drive. My grandparents weren't too savvy about the movie titles, and they never ventured into Flicks themselves, so they didn't have a clue what I was watching. Seriously, I saw The Exorcist (alone!) at ten years old. And The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And The Amityville Horror. And on and on and on... Am I scarred for life? Maybe, but the point is this: My middle-aged brain is now full of mildly useless trivia and quotes from all the horror movies I watched as a kid. And now I'm going to parlay that knowledge into fun recipes for the purpose of Vegan MoFo 2014. Woo Haw!

C.H.U.D. (1984)

C.H.U.D. - if you didn't already know - stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers. The movie is terrible, but a lot of fun to watch. This one is particularly special to me because it is the only horror film I ever watched with my grandparents in the room. I was horrified the entire time it played, but MeeMaw and PawPaw chuckled in the background and chatted with each other, probably just bored and wishing they were playing dominoes or something.

I really want to get my hands on the C.H.U.D. DVD because, apparently, there is a fantastic commentary track that is "better that MST3K" (according to a reviewer on the movie's IMDB page). Being a huge fan of MST3K, I need to find out if this is true. I suspect it might be, as Daniel Stern is one of the commentators and that guy is hilarious.

So, anyway, on to my first MoFo creation, C.H.U.D. C.H.I.L.I!

I topped my C.H.U.D. C.H.I.L.I. with sliced and browned
Tofurky Italian Sausages and fresh pico de gallo.

1 cup vegetable broth, or more as needed
Half a white or yellow onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, crushed and minced
1 red bell pepper, diced (can sub green if you're broke)
2 large carrots, peeled and chopped
1 large zucchini, peeled and chopped (don't peel if it's organic)
1 jalapeno, seeded and minced
1 28-ounce can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
1 15-ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes
1 6-ounce can tomato paste 
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon dried oregano
Pinch of cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 bunch fresh cilantro, coarsely chopped

• In a large pot, get your vegetable broth cooking over medium-high heat. Once it's pretty toasty, toss in your onion, garlic and carrots. Saute them in the broth until they begin to soften. This only takes a few minutes. Don't let your veggies turn to mush.
• Add the zucchini, bell pepper, jalapeno and spices. Cook for a couple of minutes. Add more broth if needed, just to keep things from sticking.
• Throw in your beans, diced tomatoes and tomato paste. Cover and cook for about half an hour on medium-low heat, stirring occasionally. Dribble in some extra broth to get it to the texture you like. Some folks like thick chili, some like it runny. 
• When it's about ten minutes from being ready, toss in your cilantro. I like to give the cilantro just enough time to flavor the chili, but not overcook it so that it stays bright green and beautiful.
• Keep tasting and tweaking every now and then. You might want more spices or more beans. This chili is very forgiving. Just get it to the point that it tastes fantastic to YOU.
• I like to top my chili with sliced and browned sausages (Tofurkey's Italian Sausages are only $2.99 at Trader Joe's right now!) and fresh pico de gallo. You can also try some vegan sour cream or vegan cheese! Vegan queso is delicious on this too.
• Enjoy, and don't get too close to any steamy manholes.

Awesomesauce Food Porn

Ever since the introduction of AwesomeSauce into our home, I have put that stuff on every freakin' bite of food that will stand still in my kitchen. I am so in love with it! To prove it, I've snapped a few photos for ya. Maybe this will give you some ideas for pouring/dribbling/injecting AwesomeSauce into your next meal.

Bell Pepper Enchiladas over rice, topped with AwesomeSauce and Guac (recipe coming soon!)

Three-Bean Chili with Quinoa, over a Roasted Poblano Pepper, topped with AwesomeSauce

Simple Steamed Asparagus, topped with AwesomeSauce and Sesame Seeds

Baked potato with AwesomeSauce and Steamed Broccoli

AwesomeSauce makes the BEST (and cheapest) vegan Mac N' Cheese you will ever eat!

CLICK/SHOP/SUPPORT

The Sexy Vegan Cookbook

The Nutritional Yeast Cookbook

The Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook

A Big Fat Bowl of Comfort

Today has just been one of those crappy, ho-hum days where my sick, grumpy daughter is puking on everything in sight and the best thing on TV is Satan's School for Girls, starring Shannon Doherty (which, I'll admit, I am watching with perverse fascination). My cat's are whining. My kid is whining. Now I'm whining... I finally decided "enough is enough!" So, I set out to make some good old-fashioned comfort food. Sadly, my larder is pretty bare, but after a little digging I managed to piece together a delicious, and very nutritious, chili. And I'm happy to say that it turned out great! I'm working on my second helping as I type. Try it out - it's seriously good for what ails ya. Now it's time to go make some cupcakes and take a nap...

1 14-ounce package Ground Beef-style Gimme Lean, cubed
2 tablespoons oil
1 25-ounce can garbanzo beans, drained
1 15-ounce can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
2 kidney bean cans of water
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes, drained
1 8-ounce can tomato sauce
1 vegetable bullion cube (no MSG)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
Pinch of cayenne pepper

• In a cast-iron or non-stick skillet, heat the oil over medium, then gently brown the Gimme Lean on all sides. No need to be methodical with this, just keep tossing it all around with a spatula until all pieces are nice and brown and slightly crispy on the outside.
• In a large pot, place all remaining ingredients. Stir well and heat to boiling. 
• Reduce heat to medium-low. Add Gimme Lean, stir well, then cover. 
• Allow to simmer for about 20 minutes.
• Makes 8 servings.

NUTRITION INFO (per serving):

Calories: 244.9 / Total Fat: 5.2g (Saturated Fat: 0.8g, Polyunsaturated Fat: 1.6g, Monounsaturated Fat: 2.3g) / Cholesterol: 0mg / Sodium: 855.3 / Potassium: 250.8mg / Total Carbohydrates: 35.8g (Dietary Fiber: 10.4g, Sugar: 3.9g) / Protein: 14.4g

The Vegan Slow Cooker: Simply Set It and Go

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Creamy Bean and Roasted Pepper Chili

It's getting chilly outside and chilly weather makes me crave chili in my bowl. Ba-da-zing! But seriously, folks, I have an abundance of bell peppers and I love, love, love roasting them. They are so delicious. I also have an abundance of canned beans right now thanks to several coupons and a clearance sale. So, here's the end result of experimenting with all of that extra goodness in my pantry. And, trust me, just skip the spoon and scoop this stuff right onto a tortilla chip.

1 yellow bell pepper, roasted and diced
1 red bell pepper, roasted and diced
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 white onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 15oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 15oz can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
1 15oz can diced tomatoes, drained
2/3 cup no-chicken broth, vegetable broth/stock, or water
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1 tablespoon All-Purpose Seasoning (or your favorite savory seasonings)
1/4 teaspoon Fair Trade cocoa powder
Pinch of chili powder
Dash of cayenne
Salt and pepper, to taste

• Place your clean bell peppers over an open flame for roasting. I place them directly on the grill over my gas burner, one pepper per burner. Turn the flame on high and use metal tongs to rotate them occasionally, until the skin on all sides is charred black. Then immediately place the peppers into a bowl and cover them with a tight lid for about 15 minutes. While your peppers are "sweating" you can chop and saute your onion and garlic. After the 15 minutes are up, remove the charred skin from your peppers, de-stem and de-seed them, then coarsely dice them.
• In a large pot, heat the oil. Add onion and garlic, saute until tender.
• Add all remaining ingredients, including prepared peppers, and bring to a low boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer gently (stirring occasionally) until chili is warmed through and spices have had time to blend into the dish. I gave it about a half an hour, but you could probably dig in sooner if you're in a hurry.
• Makes 4 servings.
• Enjoy!

*Bankrupt Vegan Tip: If you need to make this dish a little cheaper, you can substitute green peppers for the red and yellow, and eliminate the nutritional yeast. 


NUTRITION FACTS (per serving):
Calories: 207.0 / Total Fat: 1.3g (Saturated Fat: 0.3g, Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.2g, Monounsaturated Fat: 0.1g) / Cholesterol: 0.0 mg / Sodium: 376.0mg / Potassium: 877.1mg / Total Carbohydrates: 36.6g(Dietary Fiber: 12.4g, Sugars: 2.8g) / Protein: 15.2g

Vegan Soups and Hearty Stews for All Seasons 

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Easy 3-Bean Chili

 

This takes only a few minutes to get it going, it's jam-packed full of fiber, and it's delicious! What more can you ask for?
If you're really daring, pile in some corn chips for an old-fashioned Southern Frito Pie.

1/8 C olive oil
1 medium white or yellow onion, diced
2-4 cloves of garlic, minced, to taste
1 14.5oz can diced tomatoes
1 15oz can black beans, drained
1 15oz can kidney beans, drained
1 15oz can pinto beans, drained
2 tsp paprika
2 tsp all-purpose seasoning (I used Simply Organic)
1/2 tsp powdered cocoa (just trust me on this)
1/2 tsp fine sea salt
dash of ground black pepper
vegan cheddar cheese, shredded (optional) 

• Heat olive oil in a large saute pan or skillet. Add onions and garlic, cook until soft.
• Add remaining ingredients.
• Bring to boil over medium heat, stirring frequently. 
• Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer until desired consistency is reached. I usually let it simmer for about half an hour, but you probably don't have to wait that long if you're really starving!
• Ladle into bowls and top with shredded vegan cheddar, to taste.

The Vegan Slow Cooker: Simply Set It and Go

Vegan Junk Food: 225 Sinful Snacks

Veganomicon: The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook